Today is a frabjous day (callooh, callay) because I am a winner. Admittedly, my prize is only a free song — useless, because 1) I have no interest in the sort of Jesse Carter crap on offer and 2) all songs are free. However, I view this as a personal victory. I now feel slightly redeemed for eating Lunchables, even though they are pretty much indefensible. If you must know, I do on occasion still lunch on Lunchables Pizza (less horrible than the All-Star Burgers or, god forbid, Pizza Swirls, which come entirely in tube form). This is because I am sentimentally attached to Lunchables, as they remind me of my miserable and feckless youth, thus making me feel better about the current state of things. Also, I am criminally lazy.

If anyone wants the free song, my code is: 7PUWYATCWP. On the other hand, Amazon’s got some decent stuff.