Sad story: was slouching in bed doing Statistics homework when mom brought orange spice tea, which was pleasant. Brief happiness was cruelly cut short when bug flew into (nearly full) cup of tea, immediately ruining both tea and mood. Bright side: that bug is dead.

Blippy thoughts: sleeping is fantastic. I think I’m burning out. It is very hard to care about debate lately. The new Green Day CD is very good.

Presidential debates are coming up! Exciting! I wish Kerry looked less like a cadaver! I wish Bush was a cadaver! Ahaha!

I did nothing whatsoever of value today.

Did you know September is National Preparedness Month? There’s a very helpful, government-sponsored website with printable instructions and graphics and everything. (For example, Step 3 of If There is a Biological Threat is “You will probably learn of the danger through an emergency radio or TV broadcast,” and features a useful illustration of a television, a radio, and a telephone, just to get everyone on the same page.) I picked up a brochure in Starbucks. It’s got a whole list of necessary stuff, you know, stuff you need to beat the terrorists. Moist towelettes are on the list. Also, a whistle.

Updated Opium (music site), as per someone’s request. I think it looks very attractive, so go look at it at least even if you don’t trust my taste in music.

Turned in my Internal Assessment. Am free, temporarily at least. Slept a little — eyes and throat hurt. The thing I’m excited about now is my extended essay. This is going ok, I think — as long as I keep jumping between debate, the EE, Frontage Roads, and the Horizon (newspaper) like this I should be ok.

LEA IS GOING SKIING WITH ME ! I am so much cooler than you.

I discovered this morning that this journal has comment spam all over it! Ew! I spent some time deleting them but it’s going to take forever, and I don’t think MT has a function to delete spam by one auther from all comments. I may have to switch to b2evolution or something.

I like the word perhaps — per-haps, per happenings, depending on what happens.

Met with my mentor (David Edwards at the UT PoliSci Department). His office is stuffed from floor to ceiling with books and is very much a fire hazard. I like him and am excited about my extended essay, which now looks like it’s going to be about Constructovism (because “Realism is dead.”)

Today was a crap day.

My AP Bio teacher signs off her Newsflash email reminders with “Happy Parade!!!   - Mrs. K.” I do not understand this — Google looks normal, it can’t be a holiday — but it is cute and in-character. (Is it pathetic that I rely on Google to let me know when it is a national holiday? Easter took me by surprise last year; I’m not much for rabbits.)

I don’t remember what I dreamt last night, but I recall trying hard to wake up and not being able to break through the veil into consciousness. I would even start believing that I was awake and sitting up, and then realize that I was still asleep and dreaming it. I was terrified that I would be trapped just short of the real world forever. I don’t even remember what the nightmare was, but when I finally broke through around 2:30 AM I felt like I’d escaped real peril.

Apparently the mysterious cough I’ve had for ages is actually a mild form of walking pneumonia, which fortunately sounds much more credible than “mysterious cough.” It’s being handled — Mom’s signed me up for some antibiotics, so I’m on the mend, though on the other hand, I now may accidently breed mutant bacteria that destroy humanity.

Went to see Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow at the Alamo Drafthouse at midnight last night. David Smeltzer snuck me in, and then he, Arvind, and Lea stole my queso. A good time was had by all. Sky Captain is every bit as campy as it looks, but also enjoyable. The words “Sky Captain” are in the movie maybe twice, and “World of Tomorrow” once, which is a good thing, because they’re stupid words. I don’t think Gwyneth Paltrow and Jude Law have any chemistry, but of course they are still nice to look at. It’s interesting that Sky Captain is so noir (dark colors, washed out, slightly bleeding edges, dark lipstick) but feels like complete camp, never really scary (except for the cancerous Yoda, ew) while The Royal Tenenbaums, a fantastic movie, is shot in bright colors, though the characters never smile.

Georgetown tournament ate my Thursday through Saturday, and now I am trying to slog through my history paper. I need something to be happy about, nowadays — Frontage Roads is tainted because I don’t, in fact, rule it (sigh), debate makes me too crazy. I couldn’t help crying yesterday when we lost a round to a stupid Fem IR kritik to some bad debaters on several consecutive, easily avoidable mistakes. Thankfully, we broke anyway, (”That’s it, I am now religious,” I told Allen) and then dropped in quarters to the team that won the tournament — a disappointment, but it felt like a victory after expecting not to break to elimination rounds at all. I feel smarter but bad at debate. I think the intelligent thing to do now would be to either a) drop this Alexander complex and stop whinging about never succeeding at anything or b) actually succeed at something.

Mysteriously, this is shaping up to a good week, despite the usual didn’t-work-enough-on-the-weekend and stayed-up-late-Sunday. Tomorrow I am going to wear a dress with pants — this is a good sign. (Note to self: are you more shallow? Hair/clothes becoming theme) I am terrifically excited about Frontage Roads. Hopefully, I will be Editor this year, if this 800-word letter does me any good. I am sort of set on FR because I failed to get on the A Debate team this year, which upset me for a while and set off a lot of miserable wailing about 1580s and NEVER QUITE MAKING IT. Debate seems pretty unsurmountable right now — I’m already a year behind all my competition, because this is only my second year, and debate eats time like, uh. This is rationalization, though.

Anyway, short-term goals:
- change music on Opium to reflect current obsessions
- become Editor of FR
- sleep with Franz Ferdinand (band, not dead guy)
- finish Internal Assessment (topic: alternatives to Hiroshima and Nagasaki)
- publish first issue of the Horizon, bask in glory, obsess over typos
- process and upload Europe photos, some of which are pretty ok, in my opinion
- watch the first season of 24, finally

The world is going to hell: they sell these to children! And the ho costume is sold out, even. Pfft.

I better write my National Merit essay soonish, or I won’t be getting all that nice money. I hate proselytizing about me — none of the reasons why I am great sound compelling outside of my head. All I really am is ambition and a little cleverness (and, today, good hair).