More on my ultimate to-do list:
- do something pointless and sentimental, like take a hobo to lunch
- become intensely religious for a short period of time, go through all the motions, and eventually come to my senses
- do something thoroughly immoral that does not have a negative impact on me (for example, punching someone lowers social standing and therefore would not qualify), and discover whether there really is an impact to immorality, or whether guilt is only linked to self-interest
- be seriously and painfully hurt and bleed a lot (but ultimately recover with a minimum of gimpiness)

My last entry prompted some exceedingly pleasant commentary from one Benjamin Thomas Bramble, which must have made my evening. It is quite excellent to have someone tell you that you are exactly what you have always tried to be. Thank you. Also, Benjamin Bramble cannot possibly be your real name. I think it sounds like the name of a slightly anthropomorphic rabbit in a vintage English children’s book.

Lately I have been trolling for interesting, likable art, and I have found Luke Chueh, who draws adorable, upsetting things, and Tadahiro Uesugi, who draws them rail-thin and completely charming. I like this one particularly.

Some things I want to do before I die (in no particular order) :
- learn to dance properly
- go back to Venice, this time with either a guitar or a boy
- make a nondirected donation of my right (probably) kidney
- find the right paperback book and then rip out each page as I read it. I am not sure what to do with the pages — burn them probably or paint on them.
- learn to drink champagne without wrinkling my nose
- play guitar reasonably well
- become a woman of letters (I am not sure what this entails exactly)
- tell a large, elaborate, but ultimately harmless lie, and escape unscathed
- seize more power
- thoroughly impress someone
- become gorgeous
- write a quantity of very good poetry
- be referred to as “a photogropher”
- read enough books to qualify as an intellectual
- write and publish a memoir or an autobiography, or even a novel
- develop permanently excellent hair

The second week of school is over. It is very exhausting already. Being editor-in-chief of the school newspaper involves work and decisions, which is exactly what I signed up for. Debate is eating hours out of every day — a good thing, also. More than anything right now I want to be one of the two people on the A debate team at my school. Probably, I let too many things trip my ambition, and when this A team thing doesn’t materialize I will be unreasonably devastated and then will proceed to be a maniac about something else, say head editor of Frontage Roads.

Everyone in the universe has gone away to college ! This is very upsetting. I am completely jealous of the college experience. One of the magnificent things about Coon-Hardy (which was pretty excellent overall) was that it was a new place, with new and interesting people in it.

It occurs to me that this writing here that I do, that I consider so necessary, will really only become valuable if I accrue fame and fortune sometime in the future, or at least die notably. Ought to get on that.

I have very little patience for commercials against substance abuse, because they are boring and self-important and do not apply to me. Also, ugly men with chin-length hair.

The school year has started, and it is already excruciating. Senior year for me is not going to be very great. I need to write more, I’ve realized, because I think I get less articulate without daily typage, but the fact is right now I’m running on four hours of sleep and am more incoherent than usual. Other news: Europe was fantastic, photos will arrive presently. I have been finding it very hard to be interested in people lately, which is either a result of or causes people to lose interest in me.