I’m off to Russia. Miss me! First, actually, we’re going to Armenia, and we’re going to have to spend ten hours in the Moscow airport, waiting for our flight. For some reason, we can’t leave the airport. I asked my father, and he muttered something beneath his mustache before dashing off.

The few days I spent in New Jersey were pleasant. I found a potter’s wheel, and spent some quality time getting gloriously encrusted while trying to force clay into symmetrical forms. I am a complete failure as a potter. The day before yesterday I went off to New York with two relations, and we went briefly to see the American Effect (which was more or less a waste of time) before heading off to The Italian Job. I liked this movie. It’s fun and clever, and it involves Ed Norton with a menacing goatee.

I’m trying to develop some kind of discerning music taste with the aid of Pitchfork Media, but I’m finding it hard to like the bands they tell me to. I mean, I recognize that Linkin Park isn’t good music, but gods help me, it’s on my playlist. I suppose I’ll just have to loop And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead until I like them.

Currently in New Jersey, where my grandparents own a huge chunk of land. It’s a pretty cool place to be, despite the ticks. We’ve been trying to convince the grandparents to get a dog, as it’s criminal to waste all this space on a few feral cats.

I’ve been back from Brazil for a while. Haven’t been doing much, and it’s great. I’m a little sick, although surprisingly enough not with malaria. I think my stomach wants Brazilian food back.

Stalin vs. Hitler: Hitler holds the Power of the German Race, Stalin has wizard powers, and Lenin talks funny. There is no bad here. Translation below, so you’ve still got to read it even if you’re not enlightened — i.e. Russian.

On the road home, we saw a car with white writing on the back window: “HONK IF U LOVE JESUS!!!”

I´ve been really stupid lately. Last night we were talking about balconies, or something, and I said: “We have a deck.” Then I thought about it, and said: “Wait, no, we don´t. I just made that up.” I stayed up late trying to catch up on my journal, and at about three in the morning Colleen and I saw some guy walking around outside from our balcony. I waved enthusiastically, and he stopped and stared at us. At this point I realized that this man was Caesar, the delegation leader who was currently enforcing the curfew. Oops. I deserve to be shot.

This whole Student Ambassador thing is a joke. I tried to communicate to a vendor and she asked me if I spoke English. We went to a pizzaria the other day and three of us had an eating contest. Our only real cultural exchange involved a girl named Linda and a 20-something Brazilian guy, but that had less to do with culture and more to do with saliva. We´re complete failures, but man do we stay true to our roots. I come home on Thursday! There better be cake.